This was a socalled open adoption site i used to participte in ,,if you dont beleive the way they do you get kicked out lol...READ on,,if your not sure, my name on the following is momx6!

I have two adopted children and while I don’t have a problem with openness, I have been finding something that confuses me and that I struggle with.  I was hoping someone could shed some light on it for me.
The adoption world seems to use some standard terminology.  We can see by reading through the posts on this site that people are comfortable using the titles ‘first family’ or ‘birthfamily’ or ‘biological family’ and all the derivatives that come from it, even when referring to themselves.  But then they continue to call the adopted children their ‘son’ and ‘daughter’.  In some posts people talk about birthfamilies and say such things as ‘well that IS their grandparents’ when referring to the birthgrandparents.  I find this very common with all of the adoptions in my life (my own & those of my family & friends).
I don’t understand the use of the terminology.  Should it not be ‘birthson’ and ‘birthdaughter’ etc.. ?  Why when challenged is it then said ‘well they ARE the grandparents’?
Many birthparents make the conscious decision to relinquish their children.  In that process, they deliberately legally sign away their parental rights and the adoptive parents legally take that on.  I don’t understand why then birthparents continue to use the terms ‘son’ and ‘daughter’ instead of using the term ‘birthson’ and ‘birthdaughter’.  By doing so, it seems to me that the common attitude of birthfamilies is that biology is in fact more important than the adoptive family.
I honestly would really like to understand this!
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