I feel like everything i say or do latley,someone THINKS its about them or someone they know!!
DAMN!!! i freeakin wish i had the time to read peoples statuses and think,,,are they talking about me???
I post im proud of my kid...someone thinks im talking down on theirs!!! i post about something that happned in my class with kids playing "gettin married" and me humming the wedding song and i get shit for that!!
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FUK IT ALLL!!!! @#$#%#&^$&$&U*I*^^%Y$%W#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
unbelievable
well,,,i waited awhile to blog about this because i needed to process it all. a few weeks b4 my bday i had sent my biomother a txt as i usually do on game day because we both like the pats. the response i got floored me. and i quote..(.im seeking psy help for my issues, i need to b alone, hope u under stand sorry this didnt have a happy ending goodbye.) WHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU have issues??? are you kidding me?? did u really think that you could carry a child for almost a year and NOT have issues when you ACHEM.... gave IT away???? i can speak for myself BUT i could not give my kid away and NEVER know what happned! hmmm did she go to school and have kids say..."gee u must be real bad if your "real" mom didnt want you! or GEE what was wrong with u that she gave u away??
She got to keep it all a dirty little secret where here I WAS the Dirty little secret! Do u think i have issues??? HELL YES I DO!!!! Do i broadcast it or use them as a crutch nope! Will my son have adoption issues...HECK YES! His wont be like mine because he will brought up knowing how he came to us but i had nooo idea,,,was i a product of rape? was i a product of affair? These thoughts stayed with me for years and had an impact on the person i have become today. Dont get me wrong, i had a GREAT LIFE!!!!!! NEVER WANTED ANYTHING else! The only thing i wanted was to know my medical background.
After i found my biomother i SWORE i wouldnt allow her to meet my kids because they already had 2 grandmothers,, but i gave in and allowed it! UGHHH why oh why didnt i go with my instinct??? They didnt ask for this! they didnt ask to get hurt but they did! AFter that txt they prob wont see her again so AGAIN she abandoned not only her biological daugther but grandchildren too! How was i so stupid to allow this to happen! I always give ppl the benefit of the doubt,,but from now on,, im alllll SET
She got to keep it all a dirty little secret where here I WAS the Dirty little secret! Do u think i have issues??? HELL YES I DO!!!! Do i broadcast it or use them as a crutch nope! Will my son have adoption issues...HECK YES! His wont be like mine because he will brought up knowing how he came to us but i had nooo idea,,,was i a product of rape? was i a product of affair? These thoughts stayed with me for years and had an impact on the person i have become today. Dont get me wrong, i had a GREAT LIFE!!!!!! NEVER WANTED ANYTHING else! The only thing i wanted was to know my medical background.
After i found my biomother i SWORE i wouldnt allow her to meet my kids because they already had 2 grandmothers,, but i gave in and allowed it! UGHHH why oh why didnt i go with my instinct??? They didnt ask for this! they didnt ask to get hurt but they did! AFter that txt they prob wont see her again so AGAIN she abandoned not only her biological daugther but grandchildren too! How was i so stupid to allow this to happen! I always give ppl the benefit of the doubt,,but from now on,, im alllll SET
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