Evaluate

We all develop a story on what we think is going on.It is a story with our emotions feelings and actionsWe can often be wrong how we size up and determine a situation because we are biased for our own good.We need to evaluate our part  in the situation we need to look for solutions to end the conflictWe have to clear away misunderstandings misinterpretations hurt feelingsSo we can contribute to what’s going on with the real problem. We need to walk in the shoes of others so we can see how they view the world.  Every conflict between two people has one side the other side and the truth which lies somewhere in the middle. Things become very difficult when you opened yourself up a loud people in and find out that it is actually harmed you your family and your children Because of your poor judgment in someone’s character.There are many titles that people give to each other in life husband wife brother sister and mom and dad and to me those are the most sacred titles anyone can ever have is to be mom and dad. Just because you grow a human and give birth does not make you mom nor does the fact that you contributed to the making of that child make you a dad.I kept my expectations to a minimum and didn’t ask very much choose wisely, work hard, and be honest.For the most part choosing wisely worked for a little while working hard that remains , but honesty , sadly that is not a quality or a trait that has been obtained by some.  When you use the term real mother that it’s exactly what I am I’m not fake I’m not imaginary and I’ve stayed by his side from day one a mother doesn’t sign a piece of paper and not fight for her child. So I have stepped back and evaluated my part in the situation and what I have concluded is, I put too much trust I looked blindly did not have my eyes open and I did not listen to the people around me who said things weren’t right. All I can do now is move forward be the best mom to all of my children that I Canby I am far from perfect but what I am is honestly devoted to all of them and that will never change.

Well adjusted

 12 years ago we entered into an open adoption with our oldest son‘s birth mother things have not always been easy ,we’ve had ups and we’ve had downs ,but through it all we made a commitment to allow her to be part of our sons life .  We found out not too long ago thatwhen  he was alone with her she was manipulating feeding him wrong information and miss leading him .one of the things she had said to him was when he gets  A bit older he could choose to go live with her because she is his real mom . he was very upset by that statement and told us .there of been times in the past where we’ve had to limit contact because of the people she chooses to associate with ,people who have been arrested for assault and battery breaking in entering and drug distribution . with that being said we cut down contact but things of changed .sadly contact will now be limited it’s sad really when you put enough effort to keep a relationship going and you find out that in fact it was not helpful to your child but harmful I received a text message that stated my son told her he was upset with her because she was raising his two brothers  and she thought that would bother me but it actually didnt because he is mad he is extremely mad at her that she was unwilling to  put in the effort  for him but didfor those two .and not my son he said to me with tears in his eyes mom” thats pathetic and mom I love you “to the moon and back and boy did that melt my heart knowing that he is well-adjusted . it’s all I can do for him is love him stay on his side and help him become the man he wants to be