Kristopher has kown hes adopted since, like birth. He knows he didn't grow in my belly but in TiTi's. Recently ive been telling him about his brother (from bio mom ) and he is very excited to know he has a brother since all he has are sisters. Sometimes I feel im not enough for him, that our family isn't enough. I know rationally that isn't true, I know we are his mommy and daddy and sisters. But I didn't give him a brother. He wont grow up with him, he wont see him every day, so he will be missing something. He will be missing something I cant fulfill. I love his bio mom, she is like my daughter, her son is loved by me also, but she has something I don't, kristophers brother. im sure she feels the same about me sometimes, and so I know it sucks! We both love him so very much and we both have his love in different ways. Sometimes I wish I could be enough for him sometimes I wish I didn't have to share his love, but then I think of my son! How could I deny him his roots? How could I deny him his bio brother? I couldn't! I wouldn't, I will just have to put my insecurities aside for him, and embrace it all! This is the hidden or ugly side of adoption. We all have to to put ourselves out there for the child, knowing sometimes it may not always end up good! Im lucky, WE are lucky, we have a great growing relationship with his bio mom and will continue to grow as an extended family..
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Not sure why this bothers me but it does, and what really sucks is that I DONT want it to! ugh.