mom on a mission

this is my blog, my opnions, my play pen. dont like what you read, move on!



Saturday, July 28, 2012

omg!

‘I’m Having Their Baby’ Recap: New Heart-Wrenching Series On Adoption

On the new documentary series ‘I’m Having Their Baby,’ we met two women entangled in complicated pregnancy drama. Mary wound up pregnant with another man’s child after having an affair, but still wants to make her marriage work. Claudia got pregnant by a guy who has 6 kids with 4 different baby mommas. Each woman chose adoption for their baby, but will they stick to it?

Placing a child up for adoption is an emotionally difficult task for everyone involved, but even more so when your husband is not the father of your unborn baby. On Oxygen’s new six-part documentary series I’m Having Their Baby, Mary, 25, turned to an ex-boyfriend for emotional support, only to find herself pregnant with his baby — but she doesn’t want to give up her marriage, either.
Mary
Mary’s husband Eric became distant and downright mean after a car accident and unnamed illness left her sick and in pain. When Eric confessed to Mary after five years of marriage that he couldn’t continue a relationship with her (and said he didn’t sign up to be married to someone who was sick!), she turned to an ex-boyfriend for emotional support. Emotional support turned into much more when Mary found out she was pregnant with his child!
However, Eric miraculously changed his mind and said he still loved his wife and wanted to make it work. Mary decided to choose her marriage over her unborn baby, and give her child up for adoption so that he or she can grow up with two loving, stable parents. Although she initially likes a couple named Jeremy and Nicole, she changes her mind a few months later (for a variety of reasons that don’t really make sense), and wants to find new parents. With Mary constantly going back and forth, her adoption counselor is concerned that Mary is too confused to really know what she wants.
Spoiler alert: At the end, Mary decides that she wants to keep her baby, David, and her adoption counselor has to break the news to the second couple. In gaining little David, she loses her marriage to Eric, but she would rather take on the world as a single mom than as an unhappy wife. Although I’m glad Mary came to a decision that felt best for her (and ditched her spiteful and condescending husband), I can’t help but feel sorry for the two separate adoptive couples she led on for so long.
Claudia
We also meet Claudia, who at 20, got pregnant by a guy she was seeing for about a month named Ben. It didn’t take Claudia long to realize Ben was a player, who already had six kids with four different baby mommas! Although she admitted that she was stupid to fall for Ben’s games when they were dating and not to use protection — hindsight is always 20/20 — she knows better now and wants to give her unborn child a better life with two complete and loving parents. Plus, Ben can’t even keep track of the kids he has now, let alone support them.
However, Claudia started dating a guy named Josh a few months into her pregnancy, who despite his seemingly lack of a good job, is convinced he can support Claudia and her child. But Claudia seems to have a good head on her shoulders, and reiterates that she is only 20, and wants to go back to school and land a stable job for her future. Plus, if she and Josh break up — there’s no ring on her finger, after all — she doesn’t want to be a single mother like her friend Precious. She knows adoption is the best choice right now.
As her pregnancy comes to an end, Claudia meets and selects an adoptive couple (who choose to remain off camera), and they name her baby Caleb. After Claudia gives birth to baby Caleb, she lovingly holds him in the delivery room for a while and gets extremely emotional. Watching her and Josh with Caleb in the hospital actually make it seem like they can be a loving, supportive family all together. She cries when going over the adoption papers, and questions whether giving her baby away is still the right choice.
Spoiler alert: Claudia continues with the adoption, and the new parents get to take baby Caleb home. Although she and Josh end up breaking up, Claudia insists it was for the best, and reaffirms her decision that adoption was the best option for her baby. Claudia visits Caleb every month, and could not feel more confident with her decision after seeing Caleb in loving and supportive family. She also enrolled in college for the fall to study business, and is focusing on herself and her future. I am so happy for Claudia and Caleb! They both seem to be on their way to leading happy, successful lives.
Check out the teaser for the entire upcoming season!

living life......finally

Wow, another summer almost over. One child in college, the other starting kidergarten!

Makes me think,,,its been 6 years since ive had a baby in the house. Got married at 20 and 21 , kid s at 21 and 22 and for the next 8 years after that~
THe longest stretch between babies were kristopher and brooke. Brooke was 4 when kristopher came along. Kris is going to be 6!!! wow

Sometimes i feel guilty, Guilty because im ok knowing im not going to have another baby in the house. Im ok with seeing naythan, hugging him, feeding tickling, and GIVING HIM BACK! LOL
Guilty that i have the means and im not going to have another baby come through my doors.

In a few short years i will have grand children, and i want to devote my energy to them. That makes me feel guilty in some ways knowing there are children out there who need help.

Ive grown to love my freedom, something i havent had in the almost 20 years ive been married~

I have great kids who will babysit for their dad and i to go out riding on sundays, and sometimes on the weekends!
I ve come to realize, im OVER the baby stage! Im all set!
Im happy and soo very content on living MY LIFE!
Guilt or no Guilt,,
Ive raised 6 children, taking care of a very ill mother and  now its MY time, and im so happy im young enough to enjoy it and my KIDS (no babies) : )



Sunday, July 22, 2012

to be or not to be,,,that is the question

as the title says,,to be or not to be! ?
I was at a bday party this weekend for ,,,now follow,,,lol ..my sons biological mothers brother who turned 21~

At the party were all his BIOLOGICAL "family" thus the title to be or not to be~

I didnt do alot of talking, i sat back and observed, observed him with his biological great grandmother, grandfather, grandmother, aunts, cousins etc. Such a strange sensation. In essence, my son has double the family, but he only calls one family. WHY? there are people our parents are friends with that they want us to call aunty or uncle so and so??? so why is it wrong if my son call the people who are biologically connected to him, aunty, uncle etc??

I will tell you,,,,,SOCIETY!!!! Society makes us think that Titles are oh so important! In my opnion throw them out the dam window~ Society says ...us the term "first" parent?   Cmon, if you place a child for adoption at birth you are NOT a first parent but you want that title! The title goes to a person who tried, realized they were unable, and then  placed, if you place the child at birth, you are a BIRTH MOTHER! YA know why, SOCIETY!

People are sooo caught up with TITLES that they forget , forget that people can love others regardless if they are born to them, placed to them,

I think i should make up titles, like ,,your joe shamo from idaho, and your dick and jane, wonder if people will be fighting to get those names!  So maybe insead of my title being to be or not to be, it should be, family, or not!???











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Thursday, July 19, 2012

UGH!

Been so long since ive blogged, lots of things have kept me from it, im just glad to be back to my place to vent! Well brandi has graduated, jessika is a senior , ashleigh a freshmen, mikayla is now in her last year of middle school, brooke is in fourth grade and kristopher is entering kindergarten! wow! phew! kristopher is asking questions now, like why he has blue eyes and y we all have brown. how come he grew in kaylas belly, but hes so smart he answered that himself, cuz she couldnt take care of me and you loved me so much that you did! wow! hes a smart cookie. the questions are going to be getting harder to answer and i just pray that i will have the wisdom to answer them for him to his understanding . 
There was a headline in a magazine that i saw while shopping, it was of catelyn and tyler from teen mom ....
How would you feel if it were true — if you had gotten pregnant?
CL: You know, I would probably be a miserable wreck. I don’t know what I would do. If I did get pregnant right now, how would Carly feel? It wouldn’t be fair to her. When she got older, she would be like, “Oh, you placed me for adoption and then three years later you got pregnant and decided to parent? What’s wrong with me?

UGHHHHHH!
Simply saying, “We’re not ready yet. We’ve discussed it and it doesn’t feel right for us just yet,” would have sufficed.. We would have patted you on the back and said, “Hey! Good for you! Making the decision when to have and parent a child is hard and to know that you’re not ready is really responsible!” But instead, you had to throw some adoption rhetoric in there. You messed it all  up and cause people to be confused.
More over: Having a baby is not a bad thing. Even if it’s a surprise, even if you’re not 100% “ready.” Even if you’re scared. Even if you placed a previous child for adoption. Having — and loving and responsibly caring for — a baby is not a bad thing.

THAT is what i have to get across to my son!!!!!!


Thursday, June 7, 2012

adoption stupidity!


I hate DR DREW< i hate  his stupidity! I hate every thing about him!! 
I’m not anti-adoption. I have a successful open adoption, which of course means to say that I’ve worked my butt off, cried a thousand tears and done everything I can to make it work. I’ve lived with loss from my own adoption and what  my son may  feel  every single day. I’ve also had really great experiences. DR drew , of 16 and pregnant , You need to quit judging moms who choose parenting after considering placement. You need to get off their backs. You need to be aware that your judgmental tone, delivered to you by adoption agencies, will harm future mothers — and their children. You need to stop presenting yourself as a voice on adoption and let those who live it do the speaking. I rarely give the other mothers who were on your show a hard time, even though I don’t agree with the way they present themselves or adoption sometimes, because they’re living it. You? You, Dr. Drew? You’ll never understand what it’s like to carry a baby for nine months,  carry that baby to term, and then need for what ever reason place that child.  So stop pretending like you understand, like you care. Shut up!

I love my adoption experience with kristopher, not that it was easy, but that after all was said and done, im glad  i did it, im  glad, my girls experienced pure love!  im not anti adoption,, im anti stupidity!!!!!!!!!!!!